đ My First, Best Muse and Editor (Alas): Me
Trying to balance my inner Anne Shirley and Viola Swamp tendencies
Despite my inherently impatient and skeptical nature, I continue to hope my overall personality is primarily one of gratitude and optimism. Those are traits I value, and I work hard to incorporate them into my life so that, someday, maybe when my cerebral abilities diminish enough where my mask really starts to slip, my kids still might put up with visiting me on occasion.
Of course, besides my impatience and skepticism, I have several other âtendenciesâ that require constant vigilance. đ Today, Iâm going to share the two that are the main culprits in occasionally hijacking my creative life: my inner Anne Shirley and my inner Viola Swamp.
Letâs call my inner Anne Shirley: Playâne. Hereâs the thing about Playâne: left to her own devices, she would mostly fanny about, giggling, while jotting things onto index cards and into a commonplace book. Playâne creates to amuse herself; the downside of that is that sheâs not much interested in, for example, how things read to others, improvements others might suggest, or how they might connect better to a younger readerâs world. She considers marketability (and, at least if someone else suggests it, deep revision) beneath her; she is an artist. Unchecked, sheâs pompous and indulgent.
Letâs call my inner Viola Swamp: Pâayne. Hereâs the thing about Pâayne: left to her own devices, she would ignore the vast majority of non-immediate family and friends (and our health) to pull all-nighters, and she believes that even though publishing isnât a meritocracy, it trends that way, so not working (hard!) means maybe you just donât care enough. Pâayne creates to amuse others; the downside of that is sheâs way too invested in external validation, how something might sell, and if other people think her humor is âsmart enough.â She considers writerâs block and tiredness a cop-out; she is a professional. Unchecked, sheâs unyielding and harsh.
Perhaps I have painted a pretty unflattering picture of each so far. So, let me also back up my appreciation and love for each by also sayingâŠ
Playâne (my inner Anne Shirley) is wonderful because she knows that the VERY BEST way to sustain oneself in this (admittedly incredibly tough!) business is to have as much fun as possible. In fact, itâs the only surefire way to keep going because (and I say this lovinglyâthis is an amazing industry) external rewards like money and prestige would be far more easily achievedâŠwell, almost any other way. Playâne expects a lot from me creatively because she wants a lot FOR me. So, Playâne is most helpful when she focuses on the limited things I can control, which are creating from a place of joy and imbuing meaning (for myself) in my work.
Pâayne (my inner Voila Swamp) is wonderful because she knows this business will never be easy. Easier? Perhaps in relative terms; easier like shoveling 90â of hard-packed snow gets âeasierâ once you get into a rhythmânever EASY. Sure, your craft will improve (and along with it, your stories), but also, the industry will change; the audience(s) will change; you will be simultaneously over your head and getting antsy for challenge in equal measures; and, most daunting of all, childrenâs book creation will always attract too many people to publish profitablyânot everyone is going to âmake it.â Pâayne expects a lot from me professionally because she wants a lot FOR me. So, Pâayne is most helpful when she focuses on the limited things I can control, which are working with discipline and diligence.
Because of their best qualities, I love (and need) both of these minxes. Itâs just that they need to work the ârightâ shifts to be more productive than destructive. And I need to be their boss, not vice versa.
Playâne is especially great during brainstorming, drafting, and early revision (before anyone else has seen it); Pâayne is almost always my best friend during critiques and revision (though sometimes she sneaks in early for a bit when considering a title or pitch and I kind of love her then, too).
Like any other editor or muse, these well-meaning (if sometimes troublesome) tendencies deserve to be heard whenever they have a bright idea or major beef. But then (and this is key), I have learned that when they are being more of a distraction than a help, I have to tell them their shift is over and kick them outâŠ
âŠso I can get happily, and productively, back to telling my stories.
Your âfinding out who I am, and doing it on purposeâ friend,
Elayne
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Also, "Closing Time" is always a little bittersweet for me, but I resonate with the nudge...
What a team you've got!