📌 Not Feeling "(Fill in the Blank)" Enough to Tell Your Stories
Remember, just like Walt Whitman, you, too, are large; you, too, contain multitudes!
A common refrain in the Kidlit trenches is to “tell the story only you can tell.” Unfortunately, that phrase sometimes gets internalized by our snotty pants imposter syndrome as, “What makes YOU think you are so special, hmm?”
Of course, that’s not what that phrase is about—it’s not about being the best/most/first. But before I get into that, let me tell you a true story.
Those who have read my writing know I am generally a humor-driven, awkward-anthropomorphic-animal storyteller. Partly that is because, yes!—that is very much where my interests lie, but it’s also because I used to be a little (excuse the word) chickenshit. Writing about people is…scarier…for me. People are so…real!
So, when I pushed myself to start doing it more, I was surprised at what came out: a lot of humor, sure, but also…a fair amount of military/moving/being great distances away from the ones you loved.
Who am I, ridiculous Elayne, to write about these things??
But when I peel back the layers, there are facts that I’ve been ignoring…in fact, that I’ve been denying myself.
Military Service Family Member
Both of my grandfathers served in the military. Heck, both of my parents served in the military—it’s where they met! My great-uncle, my brother…even my husband!…all served in the military. So…it’s fair to say that I’ve been a military service family member all my life. And yet…I always felt like an imposter for including any military stuff in my writing! I guess I thought, “I, myself, haven’t served.” But how crazy is that? Kids are not active duty military—they are military service family members, too. Like I was/am/always will be.
Why did I think I was not “military enough” to write about my experience? I don’t know, but thankfully, I have begun embracing that part of me. After an intervention from an excellent editor who (rightly!) pointed out that a picture book I had would work far better as a middle grade (and who, in a supreme ego boost for me, even wants to see it!)—I’m working right now on a novel that I’m very excited about. It’s not “about” military life. It’s “about” a girl’s life—a girl who happens to be a military family member. It’s…really flowing, people. It makes me sad that I ignored this part of me for so long. Now I realize I’m the perfect person to tell Elayne-ish, military-family-member stories—in addition to my other kinds of writing!
World-Class Mover, if Not Shaker
Another true-ism that we have to get past to feel qualified to be ourselves on paper: someone is ALWAYS going to have done something more/better/worse than you. I used to think, “Well, I have moved a lot, but some people have moved more/farther/etc.”
But…here is a list of geographical locations I’ve lived in long enough where paperwork was involved. The irony is not lost on me, really LOOKING at the list, that it’s a pretty crazy list for someone in their 40s. By my (conservative!) calculations, I’ve made at least 25 significant moves once I factor in the multiple addresses I had. That averages to a move about every 1.8 years!
Military Base Birth (🤐) ← keeping this zipped for data security reasons
Augusta, GA
Shreveport, LA
Downey, CA
Mountain Home, AR
Pittsburgh, PA
Washington, DC
Brussels, Belgium
North Charleston, SC
Saratoga Springs, NY
Springdale, AR
New London, CT
Moscow, ID
Austin, TX
Nashville, TN
Melbourne, Australia
Seattle, WA
So, I guess I am well-versed in subjects related to new starts, moving, longing, and separation. Sure, some people have done more, and others have done far less! It doesn’t really matter; the fact remains that I have this experience. The only thing keeping me from writing about it was…me.
In Conclusion: It’s All About Finding Ways to Tell YOUR Story (Real or Imagined), In Your Unique Way
Of course, by all this I don’t mean you need to have moved 25 times to write a book about moving—or even twice! I’m just saying, you are probably short-changing your unique life journey, too, without quite realizing it.
Part of growing as a writer is realizing that while anyone can write any story, they can’t do it the way YOU would. You owe it to yourself to explore your experiences, mine your childhood, deep-dive into your imagination…all the things that make your stories truly those “only you can tell”—through your unique perspective, experience, and voice.
Instead of thinking, “What is the story only I can tell?”—I think it’s more empowering to think, “How can I tell my stories in the way that is most ‘me’?”
Look for ways to infuse your work—big and small!—with YOUR life! Be not just a writer but a storyteller—with a point of view!
Don’t be scared to explore your FULL you in your writing. You are large, you contain multitudes. You, my friend, are enough.
Yours in your story being yours,
Elayne
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All the yeses! We need people to open our internal doors sometimes. Nothing's changed, but we see it, maybe for the first time!