📌 The Joy of Commitment
The underrated peace that comes from knowing "🎵 whenever you want me, you got me 'til the end of time 🎵"
My oldest is starting to hear back from the colleges he’s applied to, and so, especially hot on the heels of losing my mother last November, I guess it’s inevitable that I’ve been thinking a lot about parenthood and commitment these days. The choice (well, at least for most of us—and I really hope that continues to be the case!) to become a parent is one of the most monumental choices human beings make, right alongside choosing whether or not to partner (and who with!), and what we spend our lives working on. Because parenthood impacts all the big choices—partnering with the human beings you bring into the world for the rest of your life and spending a significant part of your life “working” on them. :) The funniest thing you realize if you have kids, though, is they will spend a considerable part of their lives “working” on you! :) And it turns out that’s where the REAL joy comes in—letting these little humans lead you around by the nose for at least 18 years.
My oldest has been a Kendrick Lamar fan for a while now, and like so many things that have come into our house from our children’s interests, I am contractually obligated to be one, too. Luckily, Mr. Bellbottoms has been winning me over—particularly in one recent (and IMHO, crazy-underrated from his catalog) song, in which he (and Sza) sing about his relationship with his Gloria pen. (Note: there is some explicit language.) I have enjoyed a lot of songs about writing over the years, but this one is particularly great for wordplay (which, you know, ❤️!).
What I love about this song the most is the obvious joy he takes from his writing, even when (maybe because!) it’s not easy. The pride comes from seeing how commitment pushes growth—whether you have always wanted it or maybe even spent much of your life fighting it. #😂😂😂 #relatable
As 12x12 founder Julie Hedlund once said (not unkindly!) in a webinar, where a writer asked her about all that writers are up against, “If you can quit…you should.” This business is tough! The odds are stacked, the bars are sky-high, and the pay is abysmal. It takes thick skin (ideally, that you can thicken even further) to keep yourself going sometimes. Like any major life commitment, if you can quit…you probably should. BUT: if you can’t, all you can do is work at it daily and let yourself enjoy the ride of being in a committed relationship—where you go together and how it changes you.
Your “🎵 I know your favorite movie, is it Notebook? 🎵” friend,
Elayne
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