📌 The Spaces Between Your Words

Subtext and purposeful omission in your writing

Well, those drifter's days are past me now—
I've got so much more to think about:
deadlines and commitments…
what to leave in…
what to leave out…
—Bob Seger, Against the Wind

One of the many (many) things the picture-book-creation community drums into writers’ heads is to leave space for the illustrator. However, I think it’s good practice to consider leaving just a bit of space for the reader, too. I don’t mean don’t "lean in" to the story. I mean, don’t fear readers’ intelligence—employ it.

Subtext, as my old picture book writing teacher, Jim Averbeck, once brilliantly described, is kind of like asking, "Are you going to finish that?" On the surface, it’s just a question. But any reader will understand that the motivation of the question (the fact the question-asker is even asking) means it’s actually an entreaty to share one’s bounty.

Subtext is the unstated bridge between the setup and the punchline in a joke, the part you "get" when you find something funny. Subtext is also essential in lyrical writing, serving the same bridge-building purpose for metaphors and other layered meanings. (Sidenote: Author-Illustrator Jessixa Bagley is, I think, incredibly skilled at lyrical subtext, so if you are looking for a mentor text for that sort of writing, definitely read her lovely “Boats for Papa,” among her others.)

Crafting well-executed subtext requires thought and skill: delivering nuance is not a time to be heavy-handed. With subtext, your goal is to provide just enough situational clues to help the reader bridge synaptic gaps themselves.

Helpful writerly tools may include…

• Showing emotional and psychological turmoil or confusion. In short, you want to consider the psychological and emotional stakes and motivations in each scene vis-à-vis nonverbal cues. This is the gold standard, really, and is what editors and agents are trying to suss out when they extol writers to "show, don’t tell!" As Jon Klassen said at the "Level Up Your Picture Book Game" webinar he did with Mac Barnett at Picture Book Summit 2024:

  "Omission can show vulnerability." —Jon Klassen

  That vulnerability can extend to the narrator (what is not narrated, but only hinted at), to the illustrations (what is obscured, not shown at all, or even "hidden" in plain view—like the costume pieces at the end of Harry Allard and James Marshall’s Miss Nelson is Missing!), and, of course, to every character.

• Establishing character traits regarding dialogue and delivery to stick the landing. Again, those non-verbal cues are gold—but subtext relies on context. A character jumping up to get the phone in the middle of an uncomfortable conversation may—or may not!—be successful subtext, depending on the character’s pre-established traits. For a normally flighty/hyperactive character, jumping up is just a character trait and won’t read as anything out of the ordinary. But if the character is normally attentive and reserved and NOW jumps up in the middle of the conversation— "Ahoy! Thar be subtext!" Capiche? 🤌

• Employing minor characters.

"[Minor characters] are the subtext, illustrations of whatever it is you’re trying to convey. . . . The minor characters have a certain freedom which the major ones don’t. They can make comments, they can move, yet they haven’t got the same weight or intensity. . . . They are more a part of the décor—a kind of Greek chorus. They carry the tension in a much more explicit way than the majors."

—James Baldwin, "The Art of Fiction," Paris Review, issue 78

• Playing with popular culture references and tropes. While you do have to be mindful when dealing with, say, a board book or young picture book audience who have a little less of a meme-centered humor bank to work with, readers often delight in trope-play throughlines. While three raccoons babysitting hadn’t been done before in a picture book before illustrator John Ledda and I’s “There’s Something Odd About the Babysitter,” the idea of stacked animals or kids dressing up in a trenchcoat to go on adventures is a common trope. (In fact, an episode of Shaun the Sheep gave me the original idea.)

• Choosing details carefully. While humor can be added through the use of details, remember that humor, too, can be added by NOT including details (consider the rabbit’s whereabouts in I Want My Hat Back.)

• Winking with double meanings. Well-chosen wordplay can help create a layered backdrop that helps sow the seeds of subtext. Let’s say a kid asks a dog how his day was, and the dog says, "Ruff." If the context is that the dog is having a bad day, that makes the relatively basic exchange far, far funnier.

• Paying close attention to pacing and page turns. Remember, each page turn is a chance to reset expectations—or to heighten them. Think of them as carefully as a movie director might consider a camera cut.

But omission itself can be pushed, too—to heighten humor (for example, if upon opening a present, the character says, "It’s so…sparkly." those …’s sure are doing some subtextual work!), or even to use its own absence to craft a layered punchline. One of my all-time favorite examples is in the Flight of the Conchords’ Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros, when Jemaine sings,

"They call me the Hiphopopotamus!
My lyrics are bottomless!.." <strained pause in singing as music continues>

This kind of layered humor is supremely satisfying, being funny on its own merits and also helping us connect with the character. What else do you need to know about the Hiphopopotamus, really?

Once you see the space created by omission, you can play with it to subvert expectations. A stellar example is one of our family's favorite picture books, "Guess Again!" by Mac Barnett and Adam Rex.

Not to pat myself on the back too much, but I also played with this humor in my and John Ledda's soon-to-be picture book, "There's Something Odd About the Babysitter," where the apparent answer to WHAT is so odd about the babysitter may be obvious—but not in the way you think.

What spaces might you create in whatever manuscript you are currently working on to allow for mystery, empathy, and/or humor?

Your gap-year friend,

Elayne

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