📌 Think of a Critique as a Buffet Spread
Related: don't go to a buffet if you aren't really hungry!
I’m an active member of several writing communities, and when there is a Q&A with an established author, the most popular question is almost always: “What if I don’t like my critique(s)?”
Of course, people don’t usually spell it out like that. Instead, they almost always ask what to do about a specific critique, with the tenor of the question almost always being: please, PLEASE tell me I can go tell this critiquer to pound sand.
Look, we’ve all been there. You have a story you CAN’T wait to share, and then those durn critiquers don’t “get” it. (At least, yet.)
If this is you, here are some things that may be useful to consider the next time you prepare to submit work for critique. Of course, these are MY THOUGHTS on the matter. Your mileage WILL vary!
Elayne’s “Rulez” (with a z to prove they are nothing even approximating actual rules)
Only submit stuff you want a *critique* on to a critique. This seems obvious. IT IS NOT. If you really only want to, say, brainstorm a plot point or require help with a quick grammar read-through—that is not a “critique”! Ask for precisely what you want—ideally, placed right at the top of the page and maybe even highlighted! For example: “I would just like your thoughts on ways to heighten the emotion in the third spread” or “Do you find the dynamic between the siblings believable?” (or whatever!)
Take notes and listen. Try to fight the impulse to explain yourself.
Assume your critiquers are trying their best to help—because they are.
Remember that creators are “trying on” their own creative perspectives while critiquing other writers’ work. Even if you don’t think a point being offered is helpful to you specifically, try to remember that it may be very helpful to the person saying it or to others in the group.
Enjoy the new ideas and perspectives and even (occasionally!) validation.
Let go of shaken confidence and/or feelings of disappointment and even (occasionally!) discouragement or anger.
Let the feedback percolate. Everyone says to set aside the notes and manuscript for a bit before revising, sure. But…everyone says it because it’s true.
Don't cross the streams when revising. Credit for this analogy goes partially to a wonderful and witty picture book editor whom I have not asked permission to name (so I won’t). Still, it came about when I was trying to explain how I have learned that even though I prefer batch revisions, I do big revision threads individually so I can zone in on one story metaverse at a time. Otherwise, if you do too much—and don’t like it—it’s tough to undo!
Just like when you visit a buffet, take in what you want…and leave the rest!
Remember: you can't “consume” everything, or you—and your unique voice—will be full of nonsense—or worse, the dreaded Frankenscript! Just stick to what nourishes and delights you.
Yours in critique’l thinking,
Elayne
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Yes, I am a holistic, batch reviser. I could stand to stand in some one-way streams....but time!!
This is such great advice and an apt analogy! I definitely have had the feelings of anger when reading a critique— they just don’t get it, that is totally not the point, they are wrong, etc. etc. And then, when I take a breath, give it some space, and come back to it, the critiques were almost always all valid! Sometimes you just have to get out of your head, and a way from your story. And then there are other times, where the critique just changes the story, takes it away from what you want it to be. In those cases, it takes not second guessing yourself, and sticking to what you know to be true.